Are self-confident people as insecure on the inside as you? There are many people in your world that appear confident on the outside, but are relying on their Pretend to make it through the day. Now, the Pretend self is one of three selves that make up our personality.

First of all there is the Pretend self. This identity will fake it until you make it to manage life obstacles. Then, there is the Negative self. This identity focuses on all your negative habits and projects a detrimental image of the self. Lastly, there is the Authentic self. The Authentic self is the tender person you truly are at the core.

We hide behind the Pretend self for fear of being judged. We put a lot of energy in this endeavor. Over time, we actually forget the Authentic self since we use the Pretend self so much. We use Pretend self because we’re afraid of not fitting in.

Now, the Negative self is fueled by insecurities. Certain actions bring the Negative self to the forefront. Like, when someone calls you a name, you become upset. Your Negative self actually believes that you symbolized that bad remark. In Change Your Life in Seven Days, Paul McKenna states, “Any negative traits you identify are not really yours – they belong to your negative self-image and were programmed into you when you were a child. By identifying them honestly, you can let them go.”

Conversely, the Authentic self is whole and content identity deep inside you. This self is the one filled with joy when loved one are nearby; the one that harbors dreams and aspirations. This powerful self is unstoppable if it allowed to govern a person’s actions. Permitting the Authentic self to take over is easy. But, you must identify the negative and false dialogues that Negative and Pretend selves are running. You have the opportunity to change your life. Start working on instant confidence using self help books such as Change Your Life in Seven Days. Once you’ve figured out how to get back on track to become happy on the inside, then you can move on to fix how other people treat you.

Roxane Wehr believes the longest journey begins where you stand. Make that choice today and find that you can change your life in seven days.

NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming. It characterizes the management of thoughts and feeling provoked through language, both spoken and body language. Self help practitioners such as Paul McKenna, author of Change Your Life in Seven Days, use NLP because of it’s powerful influence on negative habits.

Try this. With someone in the same room or where you can watch them inconspicuously, text them this message.

Scratch off lottery tickets are Your favorite. Who Knows.

Now make sure you capitalize the words scratch, your and knows. They have to stand out just a little bit. What you’ve done is embedded the command, scratch your nose, to your friend. Knows and nose are phonetically ambiguous, so don’t worry about that. Did your friend scratch their nose?

Studying the thoughts and behaviors in response to communication is the core of NLP. Using observation, NLP practitioners determine which communications elicit a desired outcome and which ones don’t. From there, they tailor new communication options for a patient. Programs to stop smoking and those to help people lose weight employ NLP to identify the external triggers that keep people in bad habits.

Many times when you communicate, you are managing to send multiple messages through your body language, eye movement, tone of voice, pace of speech and even your speed of breath. What if, consciously, you could choreograph these paths of communication efficiently? Right now, you probably use a shotgun approach with very few filters and learned negative body communication.

Can you tell if a salesperson is desperate? Most likely, and that doesn’t make you feel comfortable buying from them. What about your partner? Even when they are telling you everything is all right, you can see their shoulders tense up and you know things aren’t right. What about the shy kid at school? Does the teacher think he’s ambivalent to the lessons since he afraid to participate?

Nobody gets what they want with miscommunication. Many of us have developed stereotypes that are destructive such as taking things personally when someone declines our offer, or at best, unproductive like assuming your request will be declined before you’ve had the chance to ask.

NLP has to do with communication intent. It’s a set of descriptions of what works and what doesn’t. Now every individual has a different set that works for them, so there is no one set that everyone can refer to. But, with NLP, you can heighten you awareness of yourself and communication habits by reading the shifts in behavior in others. How others respond provide the feedback of the way you communicate. Can you imagine, one, figuring out how to the brain responds to language tactics and then, two, skillfully using language (like Cesar Millan with dogs) to work with clients, your parents, your partner and the kids?

Grab the free Easy NLP and Hypnosis Workbook at Roxanne’s site http://www.changeyourlifeinsevendays.com. Your longest journey begins right where you stand. Start that change today.